Today is what my mom and I used to call a “tissue box day.” One in which the tears start flowing and won’t stop, and usually have an inexplicable origin. They are not good days.
I haven’t had one in ages, so I suppose I’m due. Still, no fun.
My list of triggers: my impending thirtieth birthday (and my boyfriend’s seeming lack of interest or planning), my exhaustion, my back pain, the lack of time in recent days for concerted self-care, and a knock sustained on my head when I banged into the freezer as I put away groceries. What it comes down to, I think, is an imbalance in my life between energy spent on keeping myself sane and energy spent keeping my house in order (the house always wins).
When I neglect my self, my emotions eventually tumble out in an unstoppable cascade. My mood regulation decreases, and I swing from high to low in an instant. It is exhausting. And I am still uncovering the best way to maintain balance, especially when life is especially chaotic. When my days are calm, balance is easy. It is in times of tumult that I lost my ability to cope. I guess that is the next thing to tackle, now that I have a relatively good grasp on my relationship to running.
Do you, dear readers, have any tips or tricks for staying sane during difficult days and weeks?